You don't have to date a guy for six months to get the lowdown on who he really is. With the right clues, you can size him up in 10 minutes. "A man's actions -- especially the ones you see in unguarded moments when he's not going out of his way to try to impress you （or doesn't realize you're watching） -- can speak volumes about his character and personality traits," says Rita Benasutti, PhD, a psychotherapist who specializes in couples' issues. To help you decode a guy you've just started seeing, Cosmo called on a team of experts to tell you how to assess his actions and tap into his boyfriend potential, pronto.

    His Favorite Sport

    "Solo sportsmen, like runners and swimmers, 1 savor their independence and relish spending a lot of time alone," says relationship-skills coach Steve Nakamoto, author of "Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching a Man." Men who are fans of mainstream team sports, like football, basketball, and baseball, 2 tend to be competitive -- on the field and in all aspects of their life -- and they like to hang with their entourage. As for the guy who's just not into sports at all, 3 "he's an independent thinker, usually on the sensitive side."

    How Long He's Been Hanging With His Friends

    A guy who has been friends with the same posse since he was 10 years old can certainly claim 4 loyalty as one of his strong suits. But "you better like what you see, because he's probably not great with change," says dating coach Liz H. Kelly, author of "Smart Man Hunting." "And be patient, because it will take a while for you to win his trust." If your date has buddies from all areas of his life -- i.e., college, the gym, work -- don't be afraid to drag him to your cousin's wedding. 5 "He has no problem schmoozing strangers and adapts to new situations easily."

    Credit vs. Cash

    A guy who likes to flash his plastic 6 craves status. "He may be ambitious and confident. He'll reach his financial goals," says Rob Ronin, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and registered financial consultant. "If he always pays in cash, 7 he's self-sufficient and independent," which might make him a difficult dude to corner. And if his wallet is dry? 8 Here's a guy who's dependent on others to take care of him.

    His Bad Habits

    Gambling men 9 are risk-takers, which can make them a lot of fun. "But their over-the-top optimism that they'll come out ahead makes it difficult for them to face reality," says Mitchell Parks, MD, assistant professor of psychiatry at Vanderbilt University, in Nashville. "Hard-core smokers 10 tend to be anxious," says Dr. Parks, so it can be hard to pin them down for couple-time. And if he's a boozer, 11 he could be hiding his insecurity behind his buzz.

    His Communication Style

    When your date opts to email you -- rather than call -- 12 he could be a hard nut to crack. "The fact that he chooses a communication method that allows him to edit what he says signals that he might not want to show his true self," says Jeff Bryson, PhD, professor of psychology at San Diego State University. An IM addict 13 craves your nonstop attention and needs that instant assurance that you're there for him. And the phone fan? 14 He might be a little old-fashioned and likes to do things by the book. But, according to Bryson, "he's not afraid of intimacy."

    The Clothes You Wear That He Prefers

    If your fave T-shirt and jeans or a cute little sundress do more for him than your slinky black number, 15 you're dating an earthy, laid-back guy who likes equally laid-back, low-maintenance chicks. A man who's wowed by a woman who likes to get dolled up in high-end designer duds 16 places a high priority on prestige. "He'll probably make a lot of money, but it also might play too important a role in his life," says Los Angeles clinical psychologist Nancy Irwin, PsyD. And a guy who wants a Carmen Electra-sensual girl on his arm 17 is looking for an ego boost. "He places a lot of value on being admired and envied."

    How He Deals With Traffic

    If he constantly weaves in and out of cars, tailgates slowpokes, and glares at other drivers, 18 "it's pretty clear that he has a problem with aggression," says Leon James, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Hawaii and author of "Road Rage and Aggressive Driving." While a forceful personality might take him far in the workplace, it could be difficult to deal with this argumentative guy in a relationship. If he's able to exude Zen-like calm when stuck in gridlock, 19 "he's likely to have more self-control."

    What He Orders in a Restaurant

    A meat-and-potatoes-type guy 20 is usually steady and dependable, says image coach Dianne Daniels, author of "Polish and Presence: 31 Days to a New Image." "But he's also a little unadventurous." If your date goes for exotic dishes, 21 "you're with someone who makes spontaneity a priority and could easily get bored with the status quo."

    Neat Freak or Messy Man

    A guy who puts his dirty socks in the hamper is one thing; a guy who color-codes them in his drawer is something else. 22 "This man is way too fastidious to have fun," explains Daniels, "and he'll expect you to be just as neat." A mildly messy man 23 is looser and more open-minded. But if the inside of his shower has never seen a scrub brush, 24 he may be immature or just plain lazy.

    Favorite TV Shows

    Take note if he parks himself in front of one sitcom after another. 25 "Here's a guy who uses humor to defuse stress," says TV producer Hedda Muskat, author of "Dating Confidential: A Single's Guide to a Fun, Flirtatious and Possibly Meaningful Social Life." This can be a good thing, because he won't hold a grudge against you or lose his cool. But it also might be hard to get into a serious conversation with him, which can be frustrating. "The more you try to discuss something important, the more evasive he will become," says Muskat. A couch sleuth who's fascinated by CSI-type shows, on the other hand, 26 is analytical and thoughtful. "He prides himself on his problem-solving abilities and will be there for you when you need support," says Muskat.

    His Birth Order

    "The oldest child 27 is usually a responsible, take-charge kind of guy," says Nancy Fagan, author of "Desirable Men." If your babe is the baby of his brood, 28 "he's likely to be creative and a little rebellious." As for a middle man: 29 "He's a sensitive soul who needs loads of attention."

    How He Approaches PDAs

    When you're out in public and he's all over you like a rash, 30 "he's either trying to show you off or marking his territory, both of which are signs of insecurity," says Nakamoto. A guy who's allergic to body contact in public is 31 unsure about his feelings for you or your feelings for him. "PDAs are statements of togetherness," says Nakamoto. "If he has doubts, he'll keep his distance physically."

    Whether He Always Drives or Wants You To

    "A guy who doesn't automatically assume driving rights 32 is likely to let you steer the relationship at least some of the time," says Kelly. A man who hogs the wheel -- even in your car -- 33 is sweetly old-fashioned at best and, at worst, could be a control freak.

    The Guy's Grooming MO

    A guy who checks out his reflection in every store window you pass is obviously vain. But, interestingly, 34 it's also a sign of a dude who's intent on succeeding. "Presentation is everything to this kind of man," says Sheenah Hankin, PhD, author of "Complete Confidence." "He sees it as a measure of his self-respect and success." 35 The low-key, less conceited guy might be less ambitious, "but he's easier to connect with emotionally because he's not as superficial," says Hankin. "What counts on the inside matters more to him."

    If He Looks You in the Eye

    "A man who doesn't make eye contact during conversation 36 may not be trustworthy," says speech coach Diane DiResta, author of "Knockout Presentations." "Meanwhile, if his eyes bore into yours as he's talking, 37 he might be trying to intimidate you." But a smoldering gaze -- you know what that looks like -- 38 means he's immensely fond of you.

    His Speaking Style

    If your man moves his mouth a mile a minute, 39 you're with a spontaneous, high-energy guy who may be a little too self-absorbed. "Fast talkers get so wrapped up in making a good impression that they don't pay attention to their audience," says DiResta. Slow talkers 40 typically play it safe. "The way they deliberate every word before it comes out of their mouth is indicative of how they approach life: They look before they leap." So although you shouldn't expect a lot of surprises, at least you'll know he means what he says.

    Things You'll Only Learn With Time

    Your speedy profiling skills won't reveal these tidbits from psychotherapist Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of "Calling in 'The One'."

    How loyal he'll be: Wait and see if you're shown the same allegiance as his buds are.

    If he's a man of his word: Will he really keep those promises he made to you early on?

    His little quirks: Time reveals the small details that really make a person tick.

    If his parents' split haunts him: His broken home may have issued him some big-time emotional baggage.

    你不必為了了解他的底細而與他交往6個月。 掌握正確的線索， 你可以在10分鐘內(nèi)迅速對他作出評估。 Rita Benasutti博士， 精神治療師， 專攻伴侶問題研究， 說"男人的言行 -- 特別是你在他不特意給你留下好印象而防備松懈的時候看到的那些 （或者是他沒有注意到你在） -- 能在很大程度上說明他的品性與人格特點，" 為了幫助你對剛剛認識的他進行解碼， Cosmo 專門找來了一組專家來告訴你如何在短時間內(nèi)評估他的言行，并開發(fā)他的男友潛質(zhì)。

    他最愛的運動

    "如果他喜歡個人運動， 比如跑步或游泳， 1那么他會覺得獨立的生活是種享受并喜歡長時間獨處" ,《男人像魚： 女性捕男人須知》一書作者，人際關(guān)系導師 Steve Nakamoto說。 鐘愛主流團隊運動，比如足球， 籃球， 棒球等，的男人， 2 則往往有相當強的競爭意識--無論是在運動場上或是在他們生活的點滴之中， 并且他們喜歡跟同好者們終日混在一起。 至于那些根本不喜歡運動的男人， 3 "他們能夠獨立思考， 而且通常比較感性。"

    他和朋友維持了多久關(guān)系

    一個從10歲開始交的朋友始終都屬于同一個社交群體的男人可以毫不猶豫地說 4 忠誠是他的長處之一。 但 "你最好別討厭現(xiàn)在你所看到的， 因為他不怎么擅長改變自己" 《聰明約會》一書作者，約會導師Liz H. Kelly說， "另外就是耐心點， 因為你很難在短時間內(nèi)贏得他的信任" 如果你的約會對象的好朋友來自他生活中的各個時期和場合-- 比如大學、體育館、工作，大膽地把他拽去你表哥的婚禮吧。 5 "他能很輕易的與陌生人閑談，適應新環(huán)境"

    信用卡VS現(xiàn)金

    喜歡出示那張塑料卡片的男人 6 對身份地位有較強的渴望。Rob Ronin, 心理學博士，持牌臨床心理學家，注冊金融顧問如是說："他可能有較強的成功欲望和自信心。他最終會達到他的財富目標的" "如果他總是以現(xiàn)金付款， 7 那么他的生活是自給自足的，獨立的。" 這使得他很難被逼入絕境。 那如果他的錢包干癟癟的呢？ 8 這表明他很依賴他人對他的照顧

    他的惡習

    喜歡賭博的男人9愛冒險，這給他們帶來極大的快感。 "他們往往過于樂觀地認為他們能大賺一比，以至于他們很難面對現(xiàn)實" 醫(yī)學博士，美國納什維爾的范德比爾特大學精神病學副教授 Mitchell Parks如是說。 "頑固煙民們10 往往會顯得焦慮不安。" Parks博士說。 因此如何一再讓他們安定下來是個不小的問題。 而如果他是個酒鬼，那么 11 他可能習慣將他的不安全感隱藏在他亢奮而含糊的言語中。

    他的交流方式

    如果你的對象更多地選擇給你發(fā)郵件，而不是打電話，12 那么他有可能是個難咬開的堅果。圣迭戈州立大學心理學教授Jeff Bryson博士， 說 "假如他的交流方式始終能為他留有修改的余地， 這可能是他不愿意展示真實自我的信號。" 網(wǎng)聊上癮者則 13 渴望你能夠不斷地關(guān)注他， 并需要時不時地確認你不會離他而去。 而至于那些電話狂？ 14 他可能有些許的保守， 并通常依照教條行事。 然而， 在Bryson看來， "他并不懼怕親昵的行為。"

    他更偏好你的何種穿著

    如果你最喜歡的T畜恤或者可愛的小吊帶裙比起突顯身型的黑衣更能使他動心， 則15 你約會的對象是個對自己欲望感官直率的隨和的男人。他喜歡跟他一樣隨和的， 并不十分精細保養(yǎng)的的小妞。 而那些容易傾慕于打扮得光彩照人的女人的男人 16 通常把個人名望看得極重。 "他或能賺大錢， 但與此同時這（名望）在他生活中所占的比重未免太大了。" 洛杉磯臨床心理學家 Nancy Irwin博士如是說。 而希望有一個如卡門·伊萊克特拉一般撩人女孩挽住他臂膀的男人則 17 總是希望自尊心能夠得到滿足。 "他很重視別人對他的贊賞和羨慕"

    他是如何對待交通問題的

    如果他總是在車從中穿來穿去， 緊緊地貼住別人的車屁股， 并常常盯住其他車主看， 18 "很明顯， 愛挑釁別人是他麻煩之處，" 夏威夷大學心理學教授， 《路怒癥與攻擊性駕駛》一書作者Leon James博士說。而強硬的個性則使他在工作中出人頭地， 與這樣一個好爭辯的人交往可能不是件易事。如果他在交通癱瘓的時候還能抱守清明， 19 "他往往有較強的自制力。"

    他在餐館里點什么菜

    常點傳統(tǒng)菜式的男人20 一般沉穩(wěn)，可靠， 形象導師 ,《氣質(zhì)與儀表：31天改頭換面》一書作者Dianne Daniels說："但他同樣也會有一點保守。" 如果你的約會對象點的是不是本地菜， 21 "和你在一起的人很愛跟著感覺走，而且他容易厭煩一成不變的現(xiàn)狀。"

    潔癖？ or 不拘小節(jié)？

    有種男人把臭襪子扔進洗衣筐； 而有些男人則把他們的襪子按照顏色分類。 22 "這種男人過于挑剔而無法享受生活，" Daniels 解釋道， "他同時也期望你像他一般整潔。" 輕微邋遢的人 23 則相對更放松和開明。 但如果在他的浴室里連個板刷都沒有， 24 他要不是不夠成熟就是懶惰在作祟。

    最愛的電視節(jié)目

    留意：如果他坐在電視前一個接一個地看電視劇。 25 "他是一個愛用幽默來化解壓力的人，" 電視制作人 Hedda Muskat, 《約會機密： 單身者如何獲得一個快樂、富有激情且有益的社交生活》一書作者說。 這可能是件好事， 因為他不會對你懷有怨恨或者失去冷靜。但在此同時，嚴肅地與他交流可能不是件易事，這通常讓人沮喪不已。 "你越想跟他討論些正事， 他越發(fā)地閃爍其詞，" Muskat說。一個泡在沙發(fā)中鐘愛CSI（犯罪現(xiàn)場調(diào)查）一類電視的偵探迷則 26 擅長推理分析并擁有縝密的思維。"一直使他引以為豪的是他問題解決能力和他總是能夠在你需要的時候適時地出現(xiàn)。"Muskat如是說。

    他在家中的排行

    "長子 27 通常是可靠的、愿意承擔責任的人，" 《合意的男人》一書作者Nancy Fagan 說。如果你的"寶貝"同樣也是他們家最小的寶貝， 那么 28 "他通常富有創(chuàng)造力，并且有些叛逆。" 至于那些排行居中的男人29 "他很敏感，并希望別人關(guān)注他。"

    他是怎么對待 PDA的？

    當你們外出見人的時候，如果他總是跟你形影不離 30 "他若不是想要拿你來炫耀就是想不斷跟別人說你是他的， 而這兩種表現(xiàn)都是他不自信的表現(xiàn)。" Nakamoto說。 一個不喜歡在公眾面前有肢體接觸的人則31 無法把握住他對你的感覺或是你對他的感覺"公開親昵（PDA）是你們親密無間的標志。"Nakamoto說， "如果他對你們的感情沒有堅定的信念，他會與你在肢體上保持一定距離。"

    開車的是你還是他？

    "一個不自發(fā)承擔開車義務的男人32 一般或多或少地讓你來掌控你們之間的關(guān)系。" Kelly 說。 一個牢牢抓住方向盤不放的人--甚至在你的車里也是這樣-- 33 至多是個可愛的守舊分子，而在最壞的情況下，他可能是個有控制癖的人。

    他的理毛方式

    一個在你們經(jīng)過的每個櫥窗都要看一眼自己形象的人很明顯是愛慕虛榮的。 但有趣的是， 34 這同樣也是他意志堅決想要成功的表現(xiàn)。 "對于這種人來說形象就是一切。" Sheenah Hankin博士，《徹底的自信》一書作者說， "他將這看作是自尊和成功的一種評估與量度。" 35 低調(diào)， 沒這么驕傲的人通常不會有勃勃的野心與志向。 "但他在情感上更容易與你交融，因為他沒有那么膚淺。" Hankin說， "內(nèi)在的東西對他來說更為重要。"

    如果他看著你的眼睛

    "一個在跟你交流時總不看著你的眼睛的人 36 可能不怎么值得你信任。" 演講導師Diane DiResta, 《動人的報告》一書作者說， "同時， 如果他在講話的時候嚴厲地盯住你眼睛看，那么 37 可能是想震懾住你。" 但如果他的眼神是炙熱的-- 你應該知道是什么樣子-- 38 意味著他對你極其中意

    他的說話方式

    如果你的他說話時嘴動得飛快，那么 39 你在和一個率真的， 充滿活力的人在一起，但他可能會點太過關(guān)注他自己的事情 ."說話快的人太想要給別人展現(xiàn)一個好的形象了，以至于他們忽略了聽眾們存在。" DiResta說。 說話慢的人則40 保險許多。"他們對每個將要從嘴里蹦出來的的字都仔細斟酌一番，這便是他們對待生活方式的一種象征：他們在行動之前一定會看清情況。"因此盡管你可能不會在他身上期待太多驚喜，至少你能夠知道他會說到做到。

    只有時間長了你才能了解到的東西

    你的快速識人能力不能使心理治療師，《找到對的"TA"》一書作者Katherine Woodward,列舉的以下特性原形畢露

    他會對你忠誠么？： 他會不會自始至終地對你保持忠貞，讓我們拭目以待。

    他會不會說一套做一套？： 他會兌現(xiàn)他早些時候?qū)δ阕龀龅某兄Z么？

    他的怪癖： 時間會揭露他的一些微小但足以讓他變得令人討厭的細節(jié)。

    他父母的離異是否在他心中留下陰影： 他破碎的家庭可能會給他背上一個巨大的情感包袱。