I always try to keep job stress from spilling over into my personal life. Sometimes I fail. And now and then, a situation crops up that makes me regret it。
我總是努力控制工作壓力,不讓它影響到我的私人生活。有時(shí)我也沒(méi)做到。偶爾,也會(huì)出現(xiàn)讓我對(duì)此深感懊惱的情況。
After a long day at work recently, racing to hit deadlines and falling behind on my to-do list, I took a call from Josh, an installation guy for a new Internet service I'm trying out. I'd left a message for him hours earlier; I was already annoyed when I picked up the phone, and my impatience spilled into our conversation。
不久前有一次,我忙了一整天趕時(shí)間,但還是沒(méi)完成我預(yù)定的任務(wù),這時(shí)我接到喬希(Josh)的電話,我正要嘗試的一項(xiàng)新的互聯(lián)網(wǎng)服務(wù)將由他來(lái)負(fù)責(zé)安裝。好幾個(gè)小時(shí)之前我就給他的電話留了言。當(dāng)我拿起電話的時(shí)候已經(jīng)很生氣了,這種不耐煩情緒終于影響到了我們的談話。
He offered to come to my house two days later. Then we had to plod through my providing a credit card number, e-mail address and directions. By the time we hung up, I'd missed a couple of work calls and I was aware that I sounded grumpy ″ even though Josh remained pleasant and polite。
他提出兩天后到我家來(lái)。然后我們不得不費(fèi)勁地弄完手續(xù),提供我的信用卡卡號(hào)、電子郵箱地址,我還給他指了到我家的路該怎么走。到我掛電話的時(shí)候,已經(jīng)錯(cuò)過(guò)了兩個(gè)工作電話,我意識(shí)到自己聽(tīng)上去氣鼓鼓的,而喬希仍保持著和氣和禮貌。
Job stress can easily spill over into personal and family life. People who are relatively powerless service workers, children and other innocent bystanders often bear the brunt. I've written about how pent-up stress caused by dealing with impatient customers spills over into the personal lives of customer-service workers, who take their frustrations home and vent on their partners and pets. And within the family, most children say that if they were granted one wish on how to improve parents' juggles, they wish Mom and Dad would come home less stressed, according to a study of 1,000 children by Ellen Galinsky of the Families and Work Institute. Drawing solid boundaries between work stress and other people in your life can be critical。
工作壓力很容易就滲透進(jìn)個(gè)人及家庭生活中。那些無(wú)權(quán)無(wú)勢(shì)的人──服務(wù)人員、兒童以及其他無(wú)辜者──往往成了受害者。我曾經(jīng)撰文指出,客戶(hù)服務(wù)人員因?yàn)楹蛪钠獾念櫩痛蚪坏蓝鴫阂值那榫w怎樣影響到了他們自己的個(gè)人生活,他們往往會(huì)把挫折感帶回家,遷怒于家人和寵物。家庭與工作協(xié)會(huì)(Families and Work Institute)的艾倫·蓋林斯基(Ellen Galinsky)對(duì)1,000名兒童所做的調(diào)查顯示,大多數(shù)兒童都表示,如果他們有一個(gè)關(guān)于父母工作的愿望可以成真的話,他們會(huì)希望父母回家時(shí)不要帶著那么大的工作壓力。在你的工作之外筑就一堵高墻、保護(hù)其他人不受你工作壓力的影響是非常重要的。
When Josh's appointed installation day arrived, I kept expecting him for hours, but he was a no-show. Then, at 6:30 p.m., just as my family was sitting down for dinner, the doorbell rang. It was Josh, smiling and ready to work. Annoyed, I told him I'd expected him much earlier, but I left my dinner and let him in。
到了喬希約定來(lái)訪的那天,我等了他幾個(gè)小時(shí),不過(guò)他沒(méi)有出現(xiàn)。然而,到了下午六點(diǎn)半,我和家人坐在一起正要準(zhǔn)備吃飯時(shí),偏偏門(mén)鈴向了。我一看,正是一臉笑意、準(zhǔn)備開(kāi)工的喬希。我有點(diǎn)生氣,告訴他我以為他早就會(huì)來(lái),但我還是擱下了我的晚飯,把他請(qǐng)了進(jìn)來(lái)。
We had a few laughs as he worked, and the service he installed was terrific. Then, he astonished me by remarking, as he was preparing to leave, that I had brightened his day。
當(dāng)他工作的時(shí)候,我們還談笑了一番,他給我安裝的服務(wù)非常棒。當(dāng)喬希準(zhǔn)備告辭的時(shí)候,他說(shuō)的話讓我很震驚,他說(shuō)我點(diǎn)亮了他那一天的生活。
It had been a tough one, he said. He and his wife, already parents of a child with cystic fibrosis, had gotten word that their second baby, due later this year, would almost certainly have Down syndrome. Right after he got the news, a truck rear-ended his car at a stoplight, sending him to the emergency room with a painful case of whiplash。
他說(shuō),今天太難熬了。他和他妻子已經(jīng)有了一個(gè)患囊腫性纖維化癥的孩子,今天又得知將于今年晚些時(shí)候出生的第二個(gè)孩子幾乎肯定患有唐氏綜合癥。在獲悉這個(gè)消息后,喬希的車(chē)在紅燈前又被一輛卡車(chē)追了尾,他不得不因?yàn)閯⊥吹念i椎過(guò)度屈伸損傷而到急診室接受治療。
With a big smile, Josh thanked me for making his day better, and apologized for being late. Feeling sheepish and ashamed, I remembered the adage, 'never criticize another until you have walked a mile in his shoes.' I wished Josh and his family well with as much warmth and heart as I could, and waved good-by. I have been thinking ever since about his situation, reflecting on my need to set better boundaries and give more respect to everyone I encounter; who knows what they may be juggling?
臉上掛著一個(gè)大大的笑容,喬希感謝我讓他的一天過(guò)得好受了一些,并對(duì)自己的遲到表示了歉意。我感到又慚愧,又不好意思,我想起了這樣一句老話:家家有本難念的經(jīng)──只有設(shè)身處地,才能知道誰(shuí)都不容易。我真心真意地祝愿喬希家人一切安好,并向他揮手告別。從那以后我一直在想喬希的處境,并反思自己確實(shí)需要在工作和其他事務(wù)之間劃一道更分明的界限、并給予我遇到的人更多尊重,誰(shuí)知道他們是不是也是負(fù)擔(dān)多多呢?